No one can make you feel bad without your permission.

Timeout is a very popular method for disciplining children. If a child misbehaves according to the parent’s wishes for them, the parent places them in a chair that is isolated from the rest of the family, often facing a corner. It is usually accompanied by words like “your behavior is unacceptable” and instructions to “sit here and think about what you have done.”

This is an futile attempt to get the child to believe that they are not good, or worthy, or accepted. Have you ever observed what really happens in that timeout chair? If the child is pre-teen, they will simply sit and reflect on how they don’t like their parent, and how unacceptable the parent’s behavior is.

The younger the child is, the more likely they will naturally refuse to accept the thought of unworthiness, and will not spend even one moment reflecting on their own behavior as bad. It is really fun to observe. The moment they are placed in the timeout chair, their attention turns to wonder. They will play with their feet, kick the wall, draw imaginary art on the wall with their finger, find a bug to observe, start singing a song, make up a new language… it is endless the number of things they can do to entertain themselves and stay in the moment and find joy.

The closer they are to their birth, the more purely they are connected to the thought that they are perfect, and that all behavior is acceptable. The younger they are, the easier it is for them to have no worries, no regrets, and no resentments.

There is a lot we can learn from our children. Instead of teaching our learned fears, worries, and regrets to our children, perhaps we are better served by learning from them. They are masters of hope, of fun, of love, of joy, of ease, of living completely in the present moment, and of believing everything in the world is perfect just as it is.