If you attract a lover right now, they will be just as screwed up as you are right now!

People all seem to have a common question about relationships:  “I want a lover who loves me completely, who supports me in my dreams and goals, who gives me moral support and boosts me up when I’m down.  Where is this person?  I want him or her in my life now!”

With 6.8 billion people on the planet, there is no doubt that person is out there. With all the social networking that exists now I have no doubt that you can also be connected easily with that person. But I also believe that you need to look deeper into your desire before that ideal person can show up for you.

The desires set forth above are wonderful. They reflect what most humankind has in common: the need to be loved, to feel safe and to be seen. But what is missing is the second side of the equation: what you can offer the other person. Think about it, do you really want a person who is so selfless as to simply exist to support your dreams and goals, and love you completely? Or, do you want someone balanced, who loves himself or herself and has the same desire to be supported by another?

That is the key. We are walking magnets that attract everything to us. We will actually attract precisely the person we are. To attract the person balanced in self love and love for another, we need to become that person ourselves.

This is the awareness that most people don’t think about! We usually think about what we want the other person to be and to give us, but do not think about what we want to bring to them and be for them.  And that’s exactly why they aren’t showing up.  What shows up is what we are right now.

Here’s where it gets really fun – the first person that we need to be supportive of and unconditionally loving of, is our own self!  That is great news because it means that we don’t have to wait for some other person to come along before we can practice the art of unconditional love.  What we do have to do is figure out how to give it and receive it from ourselves

Loving ourselves is a concept that is not often taught or encouraged.  Yet it is essential if we are to have that kind of a partner.  This is one of those areas of life that the inner shift is created in baby steps; especially for folks who are accustomed to habitually criticizing themselves.  Take heart though, it CAN be done, and you can start right now!

Start each day with the commitment to really care for yourself in your thoughts and emotions.  Be kind to yourself; be as gentle as you would be with a small, innocent, trusting child.  Give yourself the gifts of laughter and love every day.  Be allowing and accepting of who you are.  Just this personal kindness alone will start shifting you, and bringing you closer to your ideal lover.  Let yourself be your first beloved, and your wonderful romantic partner will stroll into your life, effortlessly and easily.