Your Daily Focus: Obedience
Do not train your children to obey, as you will have raised children who crave trainers.
Instead, allow them to be independent thinkers and make choices and decisions for themselves.
That means that when they are eight and they want to spend their own money on a toy that clearly will break within the first five minutes playing with it, let them. When they are fifteen and they leave a homework term paper until the last day, thinking they can stay up all night doing it, let them. Do not lecture, simply observe. Hey, at fifteen you didn’t want your parents telling you everything either. They will not learn by your teaching, they will learn by their own doing. Allow them to do this, and enjoy watching them discover things on their own.
Here’s the biggest one: if you train them to behave exactly the way you want them to, when they fall in love they will then re-train themselves to behave exactly the way their spouse wants them to, which of course will no longer please you.
So give it up early, and allow your children to live a life of experiential learning and understanding their own desires. They will seek to satisfy these desires in a way consistent with their own life’s purpose.
This is so brilliant, Rick! I wish I had been this aware when my children were very young because now that they are grown I wish for them most heartily to make their choices from their own hearts and not from anyone else’s expectations. They actually are quite independent – in fact, my middle daughter went sky diving a year ago – and I’m so happy that somehow I got my act together as a parent enough for them to make many choices for themselves. Whenever they let me, lol, I still encourage them to feel their own heart and choose. There’s no better guidance a parent can give their child. Thank you Rick!
Dr. Rick, i’m poor in English but your article is easy to understand. Your article was help me so much! Thank you!
I am so glad I saw this, Well meaning friends would look down their noses at me in my idea of Child rearing. That is how I felt when my kids were growing up, My daugher especially went through her own trials but She now is an indepentant thinker (much more than I ever was) I am really proud of how my kids turned out. thank you for making me feel that I was an ok Mom. I have often thought my kids turned out great inspite of me, but maybe it was in part because of me. Thanks again. and Merry Christmas