What does discipline mean to you? Does it mean staying on task, and working toward a goal? Does it mean focused attention? Does it mean doing things that others desire you to do? Does it mean doing things that you know you should do but really don’t want to?

I think discipline can be a really soft and gentle concept. I consider discipline actually to be more of a luxury, or a gift. Discipline is allowing yourself the privilege to do things that will make you feel better. It is not about work versus play, it is about how we feel with the choice.

The only reason we want anything or do anything is that we believe it will make us feel better, better now or better in the future. We show up for work each day because it feels better overall than the consequences of not showing up. If we are undisciplined and do things that feel bad now or bad later, we are not really in luxury. You know the difference. If you stay up until 3 a.m. watching movies on TV with a bunch of violence and all the commercials, you really haven’t benefitted. You probably didn’t feel that great when you were doing it, and certainly didn’t feel great the next day.

But if you take a break from your work and go for a long walk in the sun, or play tennis with a friend, or ping pong with your child, or even take a short vacation break, you know that feels good. It feels good in the moment, and it feels good afterward as you have renewed vigor when you return to your work.

Taking a break is all about the quality of activity you engage in. You know what makes you feel good, both immediately and later. Sometimes it’s a good night’s sleep. Sometimes it’s a really nice quality meal with lots of fresh vegetables. Sometimes it’s digging into a huge project and completing it for the feeling of accomplishment. Sometimes it’s a mid-afternoon nap.

It is about deliberately choosing to do something that feels good, rather than just randomly allowing something to choose you. Be disciplined, and care for yourself in the most gentle, kind, and loving manner possible.